Away For the Weekend

The girls and I are heading off to Palmerston North this morning to do a little shopping *gah* and have dinner with Sharon’s partner who lives down there.

I know it will do me good to get away for a little while, but in the grand scheme of things I just really can’t be bothered. I’d rather go back to bed, shut the curtains and make the World go away until Monday when I have to deal with it again.

I still feel so fucking awful about how I've hurt “M”. In fact I made myself physically ill yesterday thinking about it. How in hell did I become such a shallow bitch? Why in hell can't I see past the physical (which has got me into trouble in the past) and go with someone who meets me on a emotional level? Why? Why? Why? I don't deserve him, and he deserves so much more than me.

I Feel Like I've Lost My Best Friend ...

I feel like the shallowest person in the whole World right now.

This week has been like an emotional roller-coaster for me in many ways. There have been some huge highs, and now a deep low.

I met a guy on-line last week. He’s the first person in a long time that I have met who I’ve had an instant connection with on an emotional and intellectual level. He’s my equal in so many ways. We spent hours chatting on-line on Friday night, and over the weekend. And we’ve spent hours on-line, on the phone and texting this week.

He challenged me to break-down so many of the barriers that I’ve built up over the past year or so, and helped me find a part of myself that I almost thought was lost forever. For that I will always be so very, very grateful.

We’d made plans that he would come and visit me, here in HB next weekend, but he had reservations that I wouldn’t find him physically attractive. And the kicker – I don’t. And an even bigger kicker – he’s been so bloody nice about it!

If you ever come back here and read this, I’m sitting here with tears in my eyes and an ache in my heart, knowing that I have hurt you so very much. I will forever be thankful to whoever brought us together and I do love you … I hope one day, you can really forgive me.

Toys

Get your heads outa the gutter you lot - not that kinda toy! Although ... hmmmm ...

I've just been and bought this little chappie for the new Kiwi/Canadian baby. Every Kiwi kid should have one of these growing up ...

He's a Buzzy Bee. According to the package, he's been New Zealand's iconic toy for children since the 1940's. I didn't have one ... what a deprived childhood I led!

When you pull him across the floor (yes, I've tried it) his little wings go round and round and he makes a clackety clack kinda sound. Probably scare the poor little kid shitless. Ho humm ...

Now, at the mention of those other "toys". I just wonder where they are? *Kiwigirl skips off to have a look*

Some Advice to Landscapers

I got sick and tired of the data entry (as I’m sure they got sick of my WTF is this questions), so I packed up around lunchtime, thinking that lawn-mowing might be a more productive way to spend my afternoon.

Came home, loaded up the lawn-mower into the back of my car and went round to Nic’s to mow her lawns for her. Like I don’t “do” cooking, she doesn’t “do” lawns. Mutual admiration society.

But I like nice clean lines, and I swear I mowed those mothers twice with all the twirly bits and trees and bendy bits and such. Mine take 10 minutes, zoom zoom, up and down. Done. Takes me longer to get the mower out than it does to mow the actual lawns round here. Just how I like it.

So to all those landscapers who might come across me here, nice clean lines, straight up, straight down – no twirly bits, ok?

Oh, and with all that humping (yeah, yeah) of the lawn-mower in and out of the car - I think I've put my neck out. Joy! Anyone got nimble fingers???

2 x 2 = 6 Oops!

With a lack of anything better to do this morning, I offered my services for data entry.

I swear, when I do this, I end up with the shittiest data entry that no-one else wants to do and stuff that has been left until it cannot be left any longer. *gah*!

It's so mind numbingly booooooorrrring! I expect they're gonna find some interesting "results" outa this little lot, I can tell you. tehehehe.

I'm so bad, sometimes ...

Tell Me Something I Don't Know!

Your Job Dissatisfaction Level is 66%

Your job is a total bummer, and probably the worst job you've ever had. Your co-workers stink. Your boss is a jerk. And your company is probably in trouble. Think about finding a new job quickly, even if it's just a not-so-great transition job. You've got to get out of there as quickly as you can!

Should You Quit Your Job?

It's All In The Way You Hold Your Tongue

You know you’ve achieved true independence when you manage to put one of these little beauties together all by your little ownsome.

I decided this morning that it was time to stop with the procrastination and get out and clean out my garden shed. And because I’ve got lotsa stuff in there, I needed to take a quick trip to the local hardware store and procure me a shelving unit – assemble yourself, of course. Should be a breeze me thinks. *gah*

So, I get the damn thing home, open the box, kinda read the destructions and I’m getting in there with the screws and nuts and a friend of mine turns up.

“Babe” .. he says, “What the hell are you doing? Get out of the way and I’ll put it together for you”

“What the hell does it look like I’m doing? And don’t bloody call me ‘babe’” .. says me .. “Go and do something useful; piss off and annoy someone else while I do this myself” (He knows I love him, really he does)

So he left, after watching me deftly (stubbornly) continue with my project for a while. Chuckling to his ownself as he walked down the path. *bastard*

After about half an hour and moments of wondering whether I’d made a rash decision in sending said friend away, (while I was using my knees to hold various shelves and leggy things in place and contortioning myself to hold the damn thing together) I did get all the screws in the right holes, it does stand up by itself and it now has “stuff” on it – and it hasn’t fall over (yet).

My poppa would be so proud! *snigger*

I need a drink ...

KiwiCanuck Baby

On Wednesday morning, my very good friends in Canada (Donna and Adam) celebrated the birth of their first son.

Little Quentin Matthew weighed in at a healthy 8lb10oz. Your New Zealand family couldn't be more delighted that you have arrived safely.

Welcome to the World little one.

Alarm Bells Ringing

I went on a "date" on Saturday night. With a guy I'd been chatting to on-line through an internet dating site.

He sounded normal enough, my age, educated (a teacher), articulate, so I thought "why the hell not, lets give this a go".

We made plans, met, had a few drinks and dinner and he invited me back to his home for coffee. And it was only coffee, not "coffee".

Should the alarm bells have started ringing when he told me he collects teddy bears. I suppose his nic name should have given it away really. 38 years old and the guy collects bears. Okey dokey ... *ding ding*

Should the alarm bells have started ringing when I was introduced to the stuffed toy he's had since he was two years old and sleeps with every night? (Remember, this is a "first" date) *ding ding*

Bells started definitely ringing when I logged into the site on Monday at mid-day and found three messages from him, each getting progressively more (ummm) needy. I'll share them with you below, just because I can, I'm good like that and it makes great foddah ...

NZTeddyBear 7:51 am
Mon 11 Sep:
Hey. I was going to ring you yesterday to thank you very much for Saturday night, but my flatmate in his wisdom erased the message you left with your number. I had a fantastic time, and was hoping you might be interested in getting together again this week for a coffee?? I'll drive this time :)I appreciate you driving on Saturday, and would like to return the favour.Hope you enjoyed a rainy Sunday, and you have a great day today.Bear :)

NZTeddyBear 9:05 am
Mon 11 Sep:
Can you send me your number, or give me a ring this evening..... as I am very interested is seeing you again.I hope I didn't give you the impression I wasn't atracted to you - I am, I just like to maintain a distance (kiwigirl note: after he'd inferred he'd like for me to stay the night) on the first date.... get to know the person first...Hope you are keen to go out again, and get to know one another better as well :)Barry

NZTeddyBear 1:12 pm
Mon 11 Sep:
Hope I haven't offended you???The other suggestion I had - would you like to come over for a great meal some time??? Seafood appitisers aplenty followed by my favorite Thai specialty.Barry

I replied to him that I was having a busy day, and that I would get back to him later in the week re meeting for coffee.

NZTeddyBear 1:56 pm Mon 11 Sep:
That's OK....Hope that your day gets better. Maybe a nice homemade meal - SEAFOOD (I'd even get fresh oysters), might make you feel better)???My treat - and I'd be happy to do it any evening that suits you later this week. Barry

Call me fussy, but I think I've got a live one here .....

2996 Tribute: Seamus L. Oneal

I remember waking to the alarm clock early on the morning of 12 September 2001 here in New Zealand and wondering what in the world I was hearing; something about the Pentagon having been bombed? I grabbed the TV remote and lay there stunned as the events that were happening so far away unfolded before me.

A woman I worked with at the time brought a small TV into the office that day. I don’t think much work was done – we alternated between watching what was happening and dialing in to CNN, BBC or any other news network on-line to get updates. We watched horrified as the towers collapsed, knowing that many lives would be lost.

Today is the fifth anniversary of that terrible day.

As part of the 2996 project the man who has been assigned to me to remember and pay tribute to is:

Seamus L Oneal, 52, an employee of Cantor Fitzgerald’s eSpeed division in the World Trade Centre.

I’ve been fortunate to find a profile on the man who was Seamus Oneal and this is posted below. He is survived by his partner; three children; a brother, John and other relatives. Please remember them on this day as well.

Many Names, Many Faces

For Seamus Oneal, the idea of having one career and one name was much too timid. By 52, he had worked in five widely different professions, using three different names. As James, he studied drama at the University of Oklahoma, and as Seam, he acted, danced and sang in Off Broadway shows. "It would be fair," said John Oneal, his brother, "to call him a hippie."

Seam Oneal the hippie joined the Army, became Captain Oneal and won medals for his work in hospital administration. Nevertheless, after converting to Mormonism, he and Janet Kaye, his wife, and their three children moved into a bed and breakfast by a big Maryland temple and ran it together. Eventually, though, he returned to college to study advanced computer science, moved to Manhattan and took a job with eSpeed, a division of Cantor Fitzgerald.

Along the way, he composed liturgical choral works that were played by the Mormon temple's orchestra. And he dropped Seam and became Seamus. "He said, 'There might be other Jameses,' " said his brother, " 'but there won't be other Seamuses.' He was something. A piece of art."

Profile published in THE NEW YORK TIMES on November 28, 2001.

RIP Seamus Oneal.

Be Gentle ....

Be gentle with one another....
The cry comes out of the

Hurting heart of humanity,
It comes from the lives of those battered
With thoughtless words and brutal deeds;
It comes from the lips of

those who speak them,
Be gentle with one another....

Who of us can look inside
Another and know what is there,
Of hope and hurt, or promise and pain?
Who can know from what

Far places each has come,
Or to what far places each may hope to go?

Our lives are like fragile eggs....
They are brittle....
They crack and the substance escapes....
Handle with care!

Handle with exceeding, tender care for
There are human beings there,within

Human beings vulnerable as we are vulnerable;
Who feel as we feel,
Who hurt as we hurt.

Life is to transient to be cruel with one another,
It is too short for thoughtlessness,
Too brief for hurting.
Life is long enough for caring,
It is lasting enough for sharing,
Precious enough for love.
Be gentle with one another.

Crikey!

Germaine Greer, the Australian feminist, literary scholar and cultural critic has written an article about Steve Irwin: 'That sort of self-delusion is what it takes to be a real Aussie larrikin'

Steve Irwin

Her timing aside, it makes an interesting read. Did all the animals of the world really breathe a collective sigh of relief?

Guess Who's A Dumbass?

Go on, pick me, pick me!

Finished work early today to toodle off out to my dentist (who I only met for the first time last week) to have a wee hole drilled and filled.

Cleaned my teethy's at work, chewed some gum on the way out, thinking I'd get there in plenty of time.

Ummm, yeah I would have - cept I was 24 hours late! Bloody appointment was for YESTERDAY! Nice dentist man plays golf on a Wednesday afternoon, so the place was all shut up.

Guess who'll be making an embarrasingly apologetic phone call in the morning?

Yeah, pick me, pick me! Hope they don't bloody charge me!